The period between May 5, 2012 & May 10, 2012 I call the Threshold of Uncertainty.

I made a new friend recently he came parading into my life at a very unique and important point—the threshold of uncertainty. Actually, he didn’t literally come parading in, but in a way I feel like he did for all the good and inexplicable way in which he changed my life.

For the past four years I knew exactly where I was going to be—I had the stability that I had craved for in the past. For the past four years for the most part I was in control, or in as much control as possible of my future and I knew every Fall I would live at Pacific, every summer I would bounce around and figure it out. The one thing that stayed the same was knowing that after bouncing around I would again return to Pacific (my home), and be stable for another 9 months.

This year everything changed, instead of graduating I decided to stay an additional year to complete my two majors and three minors. Watching the class of 2012 graduate did not help the uneasiness I felt about not being sure how I would manage the following year. To be completely honest, I was terrified, to be honest, I still am. I have stability for the most part but not being completely and 100% sure that I can finance this next year is scary. Uncertainty freaks me out. 

During the summers I tend to get crazy—I hate down time. Every summer there is a period of down time in which I tend to over think and overanalyze every single detail of my life. I begin to question if I am doing the right thing, if I have planned enough, if I am ready and prepared for everything that can possibly go wrong. This is the definition of the Threshold of Uncertainty. Things can go either way, nothing is set in stone, and I can either become a mess because I am scared or I can stay calm and say I am prepared. NEVER have I felt completely prepared.

This summer this period of uncertainty was crucial because it was about not just staying a 5^th year but also about going to Italy on the immersion program. In addition, while there was a bit of an issue, I didn’t have time to freak about it for days. In a record time of 2 days I had this issue worked out thanks of course to my extended family and Chelo.

Chelo and I met during my study abroad in Argentina. This spring he came to the U.S. to study abroad in Wisconsin (he likes the cold not the sun -_-). For the majority of my trip Chelo and I rarely talked, we shared common friends and we were in a class together (I was auditing as an extension to another course, so I was not required to attend all class sessions). The first time we met and I mentioned we were in class together he had no idea who I was because I was not in class often.

When planning his trip he mentioned making a stop in California, I said sure thinking he would probably not come or I would see him for 2/3 days. Instead, I got a whole 11 days of Chelo—which couldn’t have come at a better time. When he told me how long he would be staying I was a little scared because I was not sure what we would do or if we would get along. In Argentina we were acquaintances at best and he was very serious, which scared me. He claims he was serious because he was taking a full course load, unlike me who was there taking 3 classes, auditing 1 and studying abroad. Yeah yeah, classes there are SOOOO easy! ;) 

Anyway, the night he arrived we went to sleep and the next day started the great adventure. He came with me to work at Kohl school and even though he only went twice he had a huge impact on my group of students, especially on one who is a troublemaker. We went on many trips and did many things: The Abbey my favorite place, he hung out with my creeper Chelsea, we had dinner with Ms. Johanson and her family, we went to Six Flags, he helped with Recycling at Six Flags and in Sausalito, we went to Santa Cruz, the beach, the boardwalk, The Giant Dipper, dinner with Becca’s family, slept at Isabella’s, Yosemite with Roger—Yosemite Falls, Glacier Point, Giant Sequoia Tree, Twin Peaks, Golden Gate Bridge, Sausalito (our future homes next to each other will be here with a connecting roof terrace), Marine Headlands Lombard Street, Chipotle, Noballs Cactus, Wine Tasting, Kohl, Heart to Heart, Empanadas, Packing, Traveling, Singing in the car, signals, eating pine cones, walking backwards, stealing flowers, stupid things, FRIENDS, LA and finally goodbye for now.

I crave for my life to be a FRIENDS episode. For me one of the best things about life is friends, I think we can all agree on that. Yet, our shyness and quick judgment with strangers often prevents us from forming new friendships. I think if only we could put these things aside we would not miss out on some pretty AMAZING people. I know, I am glad that Chelo and I got to know each other better and we became friends. I don’t know at what point during our time together I got so attached to him, I just know that when it came time to say goodbye I cried…ALOT.

Looking back at it now I realize how important this friendship formation was because of how it happened. It was like the cactus that he gave me—natural and organic. We laughed, cried, sang, watched friends, talked, ate, hung out and he quickly became a part of my life, of a daily but not so ordinary routine. And it was this daily not so ordinary routine that helped me pass the Threshold of Uncertainty in such a quick time because I was too busy working, “packing”, and showing him all I could about my beautiful state, that sometimes I almost forgot to breathe. Having Chelo around was a nice change of scenery from the usual routine and it was one of the greatest times of my life.

One of my friends told me that a cactus symbolizes endurance and persistence. I think this is perfect for it becomes a reminder to never give up but also a reminder of a great friendship.

My friendship with Chelo is exactly like little Noballs (what he named the cactus) it needed very little to grow. It was more spontaneous, less driven, less stressful, more giving, and most of all it was liberating. I hope that as our friendship continues to grow it remains to be like little Noballs—a personal oasis in the desert—who can grow and prosper in extreme conditions and although it seems that you cannot get too close you see its beauty when you least expect it and it always makes you smile. <3

P.S. I almost forgot to mention he has the “stupid”and extremely long eyelashes!!! YES I AM MOLTO JEALOUS!

I remember the first time I met Agathe, she looked so foreign and European to me. She actually seemed nice (She’s mean to me. SO MEAN! ;)). She had her curly hair in a bob pinned back and was wearing a skirt. We were having some social gathering with the Catolica as part of our welcome into the university. It is odd to think that these memories are older than a year now…  

Agathe and I are not seriously engaged. Our engagement does stand for a promise to always be there one for the other. An ocean separates us, but anytime I have needed her she has been there. 

I remember making difficult choices, first world problem choices, and she always advised me. I remember when I burnt myself, she accompanied me to the hospital on several occasions. I remember whenever I didn’t feel like going out she always managed to convince me and I always had a great time. I remember mornings when Benjamin would wake up super early and I knew I could just go to Agathe and her room would be pitch black and I could sleep there. I remember sitting in class and writing notes back and forth to each other. Then there was the time we would go to the gym. The time we had ice cream. The time we went to Chile. The silly and stupid videos we made. The random acts of kindness. 

I remember the day we went horseback riding and I told her she would cry when we left because she would miss me so much and she said she wouldn’t because she never cried. Yet, I remember the day we said not goodbye but “see you later.” I watched her get in the cab and it rode away, I remember my heart breaking a little bit and I cried soo much and this surprised me soo much. You see, when I told Agathe she was going to cry, I was kidding, I didn’t think she would. I also didn’t think I would. Okay, I thought maybe  I would cry a little—in reality I cried a lot. I actually called her once I got home and just cried on the phone, because I was not really sure what I would do without her. 

I have more than a thousand splendid memories of Agathe. The girl who help me become stronger than what I thought I was. The girl who took care of me. The girl who made me laugh and cry and even get angry at times. The girl who became my friend and helped me survive some crazy stuff. The girl who trusted me. The girl who in less than a month earned my trust and became my confidant. 

I will never be able to find the words to fully express what Agathe did for me nor will I ever find the words to thank her properly. I only hope that she knows how much I love her and appreciate her friendship and all she has done for me! 

Happy One Year Ma Cheri!  <3

She helped me through bruised knees, hospital visits, heartbreaks, homework, costumes and many other life experiences.She is one of the strongest women I know, if not the strongest. Taught me to read by the age of three, taught me the multiplication tables up to 12 at the age of 5. Made sure I had all I needed to succeed. But most important of all she helped me become independent and helped me find myself. <3 My Mom!

There is no real way to capture friendship so I chose a picture of friendship bracelets. Families have a strong bond but I think friendship has just a strong bond, because friends are people who come into our lives and change us forever. They are the family that we chose for ourselves and I’ve been so luck and blessed to have some pretty LEGIT and AMAZING friends. <3

Graduation! June 2008! The day when a new chapter of my life began and things began to get messy, crazy and complicated! Even though I didn’t know it then, I would soon come to love it all! <3

I have more like someones…Mon Petit Gâteau Con Cerise A Le Top, Ma Chéri, Mi Hija Maitaneruda y Mon Amour!  I will be in France soon, I hope and I will see their lovely faces and we’ll go to Paris and eat Macarons, go to the beach and just be with each other again! <3 Familia Córdobesa!

I wish I could change the world, to a point were hunger and poverty were eradicated from this world. So that children world wide can have the opportunity to be children, to focus on themselves, on their education, on their future.